Monday, August 26, 2013

Poetic Desire.

What do you want from me a new sense of empathy to cover your empty? You wish you created, but you did it sedated. Choose your new drug. Ask me? Mine is from above. That is why I lack nothing as it turns into something. Your nothing turns into more nothing, because you are looking for something in a place with fake filled in holes. Your answer is found in the holes so if you began to dig them out, all the grout, perhaps you would discover your own.

I don’t think they have fully grasped the desire I know. It’s beyond. I’ve seen little, but I’ve gone on to know not to settle on simple. Where is my motive? Success? Popularity? Or the simple ability to be liked for what I can do for you? How can one do something that quenches their own desires, but be selfless tires. It is just ticking waiting to fall out of me. An understanding a story, but its held back by… unseen. Break it open and let it fall out. I enjoy having someone to tell it about. Can’t someone read it and care for it more than they dare ask of it, but my need is deeper. I want to help them see clearer. I write something they don’t know. These escaping me are filling a space within that needed to escape to be refueled for what was hiding behind sort of a cover or curtain to take away the real purpose. In my exhaust, uncertain pain and desire the words enter a place and a need to trade in. We need more than we ask for, but we ask for a lot, but because we don’t know what to ask for we end up with less than we deserve. We see it every day in the way we play the game of love, the way we treat each other. The way we treat that homeless guy on the street. We need love, we ask for love, but our acceptance of love is longed to require little of us. What if our need for love required all we had, then it would be quenched to the depth we are asking, but we are asking holding our tongues, because even in our asking we don’t want to have to give anything up. Don’t ask for the fullness of anything if you haven’t learned the art of release. Love is graspable, but are you willing to let go what is already in your grasp. I would believe it’s false security. A back up plan if you will. Real love never asked for or excused itself to also have room for a black up plan. No love is something that will probably only come to its most genuine point when you’re desperate enough to have nothing over fake. As long as your choosing a false form of something the real won’t appear until it is allowed to draw near because you let go of all its competitors, that were never meant to win in the first place. If you got yourself too far in and you think there is no way out your wrong, each moment exists in a turning point to what you always knew was the right way to go. You don’t have to follow back through the waterfall. You thought the turning back point would require you climb up the slippery slope that you so easily slid down on, I’m going to let you into the secret and say you don’t have to go back that way. Is it going to be easy? No, but it was never going to be easy, every route had a difficult path to understand its real need for genuine requests to be responded to correctly.  You’re down this river deep because each time you glanced at your actual desires you saw difficulty; fear took you over. Fear was never a real existence, just a hope from the opposite to get you not to listen to your own heart as it screamed out even louder than your doubt. Drop your plans now and wander straight to find out how to accomplish your turn to truth and the answer to your lifelong search. Your entering now from some old ground, but the new ground will taste better, patience is better, struggle and go. You’ve got this. Love roots for you to know. You’re better than you let yourself be. The strength you are gaining will help you know you’re worth saving. You were always worth saving. You were always worth love. You worth what is from above, because He wanted you fully all along and now he is excited to see all you are willing to be because your in this together and take it from me, it can’t get any better than to wander together. 


  1. Wow Wow Wow. I have such an incredibly talented roomy! You write beautifully Amber. So proud of you :)

  2. Amber, this was beautiful and I appreciate this blog so much! Just found out about it and Im hooked :)